Well, hello and welcome! What is this? How did I get here? Why am I reading these words? Will this get me laid? These are all marvelous questions you’re asking, and I promise, by the end of this very important message, a hundred percent of your questions will be somewhat honored and maybe thirty percent of them will have at least a fifty percent answer, fifteen percent of the time. Make sense? Great!
A couple finally gets married thanks to the undeniable romantic clarity they found on MichaelWritesComedy
(photo: JAN Pictures on Unsplash)
So, I’ve decided to get into the blogging game. Where have I been for the past thirty years? Well, like, ya know, I’ve been busy, bro. (Big exhale) Okay, look, I know I’m late to this sweet party, but I still have the invitation and my motivation isn’t salty. I don’t want to have a huge following or go viral or have a viral following. You see, I’m a television writer/producer and I create for a living. That’s my job. But over the years I’ve had this erecting urge (Ha-ha, sorry, I had to. I’ll grow up at some point…) to express my comedic thoughts outside of work. Sure, I do stand up now and again, but I was looking for something else. Then, I remembered how much I loved writing comedy essays and short stories. I did it in college for the school newspaper and after graduating and moving to Los Angeles, I wrote comedy for National Lampoon’s website. But after that, well, I guess I got busy and kept moving. But now I’m back, standing at your front door, top hat in hand, asking if I can come in, make some coffee, and humor you with what I promise is more than just boner jokes. Well, at least fifty percent of the time when I’m at least sixty percent focused on what is a hundred percent in front of me. Make sense? Great!
Astronauts have a big laugh about MichaelWritesComedy while doing their job.
(photo: Bill Jelen on Unsplash)
So, here’s the deal. Every once in a while I’m going to drop some form of written comedy on this blog of mine. I admit, it won’t be DJ Khaled numbers but look, I’m trying. Maybe one day when I start wearing jumpsuits slick with drip, collecting Grammys, and riding jet skis in Miami Bay I’ll be rapidly cranking out the hits. But for now, it’s a slow but respectable stream of essays, short stories, and other comedy gold. Also, to be very clear, I’m not trying to sell you anything or get political here. I’m just going to write about funny stuff in my life, like the time Kevin Hart helped me get back at Joey Fatone, or the time a tribe in Fiji gave me kava and I hallucinated for what seemed like years, or the time J-Lo saved my life. Everyday occurrences. So, sign up to receive alerts whenever I post something, and don’t worry, I’m not going to flood your inbox with a bunch of nonsense. Think of me as a digital Mr. Rogers but with half the unannounced visits and half the cardigans and khakis. I’m a jeans guy and I think I mentioned a top hat earlier, right?
Welp, I should probably get going and figure out what the f*ck I’m going to write about. Oh, and I almost forgot… In between postings, you can stop by my Video Section to check out commercials I’ve done, sketches, and short films I’ve written and starred in. Also, if you’d ever like to drop me a line and say hey, feel free to do so!
That’s it for now. Seriously, thank you for stopping by and I hope to make you laugh real soon. And also, I guarantee this blog will get you laid!
The Kindest Regards,